FTL230, Thank You From My Garden

Hi friends. I thought that I'd pop in real quick to do a design team card for the Clean and Simple Stamping Blog, Fall to Layout (FTL230). I love the spring colors that I used on this card and am very happy with the way that it turned out and hope that you are too. It was so easy to make just cutting a few layers, two die-cuts and then stamping my leaves and sentiment directly onto the white card stock. 

Thank you so much for stopping by to visit me today and I hope to see you again tomorrow for more sneak peeks for the March 2013 Inspired By Stamping release. God bless you and have a great day.

Mark 13:12. Now the brother shall betray the brother to death, and the father the son; and children shall rise up against their (Christian) parent, and shall cause them to be put to death. 

Does this verse sound harsh? Absolutely. But look at the division in families of today. The root lies in Ephesians 5:25. Husbands, love your wise, even as Christ also loved the church, and gave himself for it. Men do not love their wives and as the head of the household, there is an order, a balance, and if there's a weak link at the very top, nothing will ever fall into place. The effects on the wife are deathly devastating as stated in Proverbs 30:23 that a married woman who is unloved by her husband disquiets the earth and which it cannot bear. Men do not love their wives and it is their responsibility to provide the love and encouragement, and be accountable for his actions before the Lord. The husband is to live with us in an understanding way. Not an abusive manner that destroys your soul and yourself. That is not love. It's power, control and manipulation, all of which are tools of the enemy and these traits are passed onto the children through their father where they become desensitized to the suffering of other family members. I find it sickening. Never let a man or your children define you. God can only do that. 

How many of you are abused and devastated daily by the way that you are treated by your own family? I'm sure many of you are thinking of yourselves. That should not be your life and it's not a life that God wants for you. God loves you. Jesus gave his life for you. You are worthy and loved. As women, we know that our families are supposed to love us and cherish us, but we're climbing an uphill battle if you have a husband who does not love you and shows your "worth," which is non-existent to him, as an example to your children and then they choose to act in the same manner and you are alone suffering from devastating illnesses, not only from the abuse and stress but there can be other life-threatening diseases involved as well, such as cancer, and you have nobody but the man that's supposed to give his life for you thrives off of abusing you when you are already weakened. God takes note of that and he will put your tears in a bottle because they mean something to him. I am a Daughter of the King and so are you. Don't for a minute think that the truth won't be exposed. The truth is always exposed. Pray for your children that they return to the Lord as you raised them. The Bible promises us that they always return home. It hurts when you have the father of your children demonizing you to your children when you've raised them on your own your entire lives. How quickly they forget. Keep in mind the satanic influence that they are under now and pray some more. There is nothing worse in a family where a husband doesn't love his wife and only uses the children as weapons. It's the perfect storm recipe for disaster as the man is supposed to love his wife, set the example as to how she's to be revered and if that example is not set, they learn by the abusive example that is set and ultimately they end up choosing to be the same way that will carry into their adult lives, all because a man does not love his wife and is out to annihilate her. He doesn't think about what it will do to the children because abusers have to "win" at any cost no matter who they take out in the process. People are not humans to them that need to be loved, they are weapons and they will lie to recruit their foot soldiers. Abuse comes in many forms of physical, sexual and spiritual, but the most insidious form is verbal and emotional terrorism. Those scars don't heal and damages you for life. The healing process is long and arduous. Ladies, you do not deserve to be abused under any circumstances at all. 

There are two realities in life that a person can choose; one is the "me" mentality where selfishness prevails and the wife is just a punching bag. Then there is the "mutual" reality that is all throughout the Bible and it's a "we," not a "me." Statistics prove that less than 2% of abusers change and how they destroy you and your children with brainwashing is nothing less than pure evil and satanic. Don't believe the lies anymore. A man who truly loves you will not abuse you and will cherish you. You should never have to live in fear because the stress will kill you. It is not your fault that your husband or significant other abuses you. It is his fault. You may wonder why and how he can get away with even the most cruel acts. He won't. You will get abused because somebody cares about you and stands up to the abuser for you. You will get abused and lied to over everything, no matter how small it is. The abuser will be on his knees answering to God for what he's done to you and your children, which are gifts to him, that he callously and purposely destroyed with no thought to what it will do to them, before your abuser is cast into hell forever. The abuser I described above is what the Bible calls reprobate, meaning that he's past the point of salvation and there are no second chances because the Lord has given him millions and he's chosen to turn his back on God every single time. Don't ever believe the lie straight from the pit of hell that, "I'll go with God, just not with you." God's first covenant with man is marriage. It doesn't work that way. If you worry about how he will treat somebody else better. Don't. Abusers do not change. They just find somebody else to abuse when you finally leave. You do not have to live like this and you do not have to be abused. You are not crazy either. That's the #1 manipulation tactic is to attack you over anything and everything so that they don't have to look in the mirror at who and what they are. It's also normal for them to make up stories and relentlessly verbally abuse you over that too. They are so delusional that they actually believe their stories. An exaggeration is also a lie that is commonly used against you as well for some "sin" you supposedly committed so he can justify his rage and abuse. 

Leave now if you are in an abusive situation before it kills you. An abuser will never love you, never. You are not human to him even. You are just somebody who has no value to him and value is not you having to listen to spew his venom at you. 

How do I know this? Because I was married to one for 25 years. I also have two incurable autoimmune diseases and breast cancer right now and I have zero support from my "family," and this includes my four children. It is so hard to raise kids on your own while being abused 24/7 and cleaning up after the abuser's bloodbaths that were endless so that the kids didn't suffer by not having a roof over their head. Unfortunately, my kids don't get it and are brainwashed. They have lost all respect for me because I took the abuse for so long and I hear that a lot during support groups. Don't they remember that I raised them in the church and the best I could in the worst of circumstances? My teenage daughters are allowed to call me a "bitch" right in front of their father who won't even look up from the TV. I have no value. The evening before my first chemo treatment in January, my "husband" decided to cut me off financially because I paid an extra retainer to my divorce attorney that he also was consulting with and verbally abused me over that for hours, less than 12 hours before my first treatment. I've been very sick lately and last night while being sick, I took another verbal beating from him and I begged and cried for him to stop. He didn't stop. He never stops. He doesn't believe I have breast cancer and wanted to see my records so that he "knows how to help me." That is a lie straight from the pit of hell. He has no intention of "helping"' me. So I actually let him feel the lump and I'm sure that's not good enough either. That's inhuman and cruel and I personally can't comprehend it. I sit in the chair receiving my chemo alone and I'm the only one in my group that doesn't have anybody and it's been that way all of my life. I remember when the kids were little I'd be driving around on Saturday doing errands and all around me would be minivans with the husband driving and the entire family together and here I was by myself and I would sit at stop lights and cry because I was the only one alone with my kids. Nothing changes, ever. Abuse escalates over time as the abuser gets more mentally and spiritually sick.

This is also my second occurrence of breast cancer in 4 years. The first time around, I had a small tumor of 0.8 mm and radiation was recommended. Of course, I was too busy trying to raise the kids on my own and trying to keep my abuser sober enough to go to work so that the kids would have a roof over their heads. I didn't get radiation and now it's back, more than double the size, in the exact same location. I even drove myself to get my lumpectomy and had to stay in the holding tank of the OR for 6 hours until the anesthesia wore off and only then it was twilight since I did have to drive myself. Then just recently I was told that I never do anything for my kids. That one act alone could cost me my life.

I could go on, but I won't, but the above is 0.01% of what I've had to endure for over half of my life. Half of my life is gone and wasted on a man who never loved me. Yes I go to counseling and see all of this pretty clear but that doesn't take away the emptiness. Should I have gotten out sooner? Yes. Even though I was never shown any hope, I still had hope.

If you have a good man and husband who loves you, don't take advantage of it. People like me dream about it and wonder if they will ever have a husband who will love them because you are made to feel worthless and like you are damaged goods. I am grateful for my girlfriends but that doesn't fill the gap in my life that I'm designed for.

I am tired. I am sick. And I hate being alone and unloved. It is the worst feeling in the world. I will be 50 in June and it will be another milestone in my life that I'll be spending alone not acknowledged. I don't deserve this.

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